The Diary of Clark Kent
by Shattered-Spirit
Summary: What goes on in Clark's private thoughts? How does he really feel about who he is? Rated just in case...


A/N: Got bored, love Smallville so..VOILA! Lol. It's through Clark's eyes..though i'm sure you could tell. R&R please! I don't know if i'll add more entries unless you know..people really like it...

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**Day 1**  
  
I've been watching Lana at the Talon again today. She seems genuinely happy working there, though she's still not talking to me. God, make one mistake and the world hates you for it forever. It's not like it's my fault after all. I mean, I didn't ask to be given these abilities that I have to hide. I didn't ask to be from another planet. Can't I have a break? Even Peter Parker was allowed to date Mary-Jane, and he ended up with extra limbs!  
  
I want to tell her. God how I wish I could just shout out to the world "HEY! I'm an alien!" Wonder how long it'd take them to bring in Mulder and Scully. The more I think about it, the more my life sounds like a bad x-files episode. Boy's and alien. Boy likes girl. Boy gets pulled in for investigation...  
  
Wake up, Clark. The Matrix has you.  
  
Pfft. I wish. It'd be so much easier to explain to Lana. I mean, if we're all affected, no blame can be placed on me. Where as, "Lana, i'm an alien.." brings about awkward questions and fear. I mean, if I really really had courage i'd just stop using my powers and take my rightful place by her side. I mean, I could be that guy, right? The one she gazes at longingly. The one she marries and has kids with...  
  
OK. Scary thought here. Can I even have kids with her?! I'm an alien! It's not like we have the same kind of DNA...I don't see her catching bullets in her hand. Or maybe I can, but our baby turns out to be this half-human, half-alien, slimey, green monster that feeds on blood and gets bigger with every feeding until it eats Lana and...  
  
All right, I think i've watched way too much "Little Shop of Horrors" for my own good.  
  
I guess I should try and talk about something other than Lana. Well, Lex has been doing the insane thing again. At least, that's what his father said when I went to go see him. Another trip to Belle Reve for him, and one less person for me to talk about my non-existant human problems. Too bad I can't talk to him about the things that really matter. Like how we seriously need to cut down the meteor rock count in Smallville. Honestly, it's a wonder I made it past age eight. What I don't understand is why I haven't come across any when digging on the farm, but there always seems to be some when i'm fighting one of the freaks affected by it.  
  
Chloe been a pretty good friend though. I can always rely on her when I need facts quickly. Her journalistic skills are great for when I need baddy info, but a real nusance when it comes to confiding me secret. Although, it would be fairly entertaining to see her struggle between Friend!Chloe and Reporter!Chloe after i've told her. I'm sure her reporter side would win. It always does.  
  
Pete's the only one I can talk to about my abilities. At first it was great having somebody I could talk to about it, but lately Pete's been...distant. I know his parents have been having problems, which makes it all the more difficult for me to complain about my life to him.  
  
It leaves me being the dork that I am, confiding into paper that speaks no words of comfort back. I know they say that growing up is tough, but I think this is going a bit too far.  
  
Mom and Dad have been great to me. They've been trying as hard as they can to give me a normal life. I appreciate it and all, I mean, it can't have been easy for them to explain why their ten-year-old son's bed keeps breaking. Or how i'm always at the scene of crimes, though I have to admit that a lot of that's purely luck. It's like i'm a trouble magnet.  
  
No. Let me rephrase that. My friend's are trouble magnets. I'm always saving them from heat-seeking football players, shapeshifting childhood friends, and fat-craving dance dates. But, apparently none of that makes up for the fact that I can't tell them every single thing about me. I'm sure they have their secrets too. I feel like that Gambit character from X-Men who was left to die in anarctica because of one mistake that wasn't really his fault. His team mates all had dark pasts, but it didn't matter how many people he saved. He was left to die. Or that pirate guy from that Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Sentenced to a hanging after he saved that girl just for being a pirate.  
  
At least he got what he wanted in the end. I got a taste of being normal. Too bad I could only get it by giving a crazed teenager my powers. Hmm, powers and no Lana because she hates me, or no powers and no Lana because she's dead. Wow. Some choice there.  
  
Here's where I close for the day. Mom's calling me down for dinner and the last time I kept her waiting she stuck me on manure duty. Even alien's can smell. 


End file.
